Feathers and Pumpkins and the silver color of rain…

It isn’t that I don’t have a lot to write about these days, I do.  Time though, won’t stop and allow me the opportunity to catch up with myself.  So I put it off another day. Squelch the panic, soothe the nerves, pretend that there is nothing new to report, happy sad or otherwise.  I fold my life neatly into itself and confidently exclaim that “nothing new is up” when prompted.  I suppose, really, that nothing -is- new, not on the outside at any rate, but for every moment of sameness, there is so much difference that I cannot really name any one thing that I can or would tell the world of blog.

Halloween 2008 seems like 10 years ago to me, not one, and if I close my eyes and barely make a sound then I can almost partially remember what it felt like on my insides this time last year.  So much about me has changed.  Healed bits of me that I feared would be forever broken are not- and that is very good.  Things that I thought were solid have shattered like so much ribbon candy- and that is more sad than it is bad- I don’t think that broken things can ever be as mind numbing and all consuming as they once were to me.  Part of me has died- the young part that ached with emotions is pretty solid.  I cannot think, offhand, of the last time that someone and not some thing has made me cry.  The old standbys- maple syrup commercials, hallmark movies, hospital dramas, still get me to tear up, but humans have bereft me of sadness these days.  It feels good.  It feels dangerous. Sometimes I miss what it felt like to have last year.

Here are some photographs of things that have been important to me since last I wrote:

Alexis broke up with Mike.

Nicole and Peter got married.

Robyn and Steve got married.

Christopher started working with me at Suffolk.

I am reviewing 3 shows this weekend.  Its going to be rad.  I’m bringing back the word rad.  Deal with it.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.~ Kurt Vonnegut

I did it.  30 poems for 30 days.  It became so habitual that I just turned on the computer with the express intention of writing my nightly poem before I realized it wasn’t necessary.  I mean, I am still going to try to write on a regular basis, daily, even, if possible, but it was really comforting to be able to know exactly what my responsibilities were with regard to writing before I even got to the blog page.  Some important things to know about the month of May:

1. The opera is coming up next week.  I’m nervous and excited.  I have worked harder on this show than I have ever worked on a show outside of Stonehill before.  I am waking up in 5 hours to get to the wholesale flower market in time to buy lilys and sticks to make the rest of the props.  Then off to a morning rehearsal followed by making the puppet (at the Sagers no less) and then probably running more opera errands before falling into an exhausted sleep to get up for church, set load in, rehearsal and costume fittings.  Forget about an actual weekend!  I really hope everyone comes out to see it, so all my hard work will not be in vain.  www.juventasmusic.com for tickets.

2. I am back on the diet and exercise bandwagon after a brief roadblock of broken foot and opera business.  I am tempted to launch into more details, but honestly, who cares.  A diet is just that- a cutting out of things you love in favor of better health and happiness.  I could use a little more of both, so we’ll see how it goes.  Get thinner- take two!

3. I would like to go on a vacation to Aruba this fall- does anyone have any advice or potential good things to look out for in the world of vacationing to said island?  I need to start saving now, so when the time comes for us to book, I’ll be ready.

That’s all for now, my eyes are closing on me, so it must be sleepiface time!

Ever Virgin.