A long journey home, or a road wide and narrow? I know my way, but I can hardly find it.~Shannon Rosa, The Year of the Serpent

I have so much to say about the Opera, but words fail me.  How does one accurately portray the feeling of pride, the overwhelming satisfaction of justified ownership, and the absolute child-like delight of seeing a creation of your wildest imagination manifest itself in a true, real, and very grown-up way. I don’t know if I can find the words.

It seems like I’ve been talking about this Opera forever.  From the moments of conception where Erin, Jacob, and I pushed salads, and then Thai food, and then pizza, around our plates as we fed our more deeply rooted hunger for creativity- to the hours I spent caressing and modifying every turn of phrase, lovingly adorning my characters with their sense of self, imbuing them with history, and comedy, and richness- to the publicity deluge, including the photo shoots, press releases, endless interviews and synopsis.  So many words, and yet, in the end, I haven’t found what I want to say.

Yes, of course, there is Thank You.  Thank you to my amazing cast, who breathed their own life into my words, to the crackerjack crew, especially Paul and Jim who helped me to make it through the parts that were a particular challenge, to the glorious, uncompensated musicians for loving music more than money, to Amy for her wonderful attitude and infinite patience as she guided our puppet dog through nightly abuse, to Everett for giving us his generosity over and over and providing costumes I could never have imagined.  He saw my girls in a way I could not, and then showed me all I had been missing.  To Scott for finding our musician’s voices, cultivating them with love and care, and always trying to give what he could, and most importantly to Erin and to Jacob.  Erin who is the heart of my words, the music of my mind- she took my very soul and set it to music, it is a gift I never imagined I could ever find.  And to Jacob.  Jacob who in a very short span on time has given to me a little family when I am away from my own.  His part in my life extends so far beyond the direction of the staging of this show that it must be stated that there would be no Serpent without him.  Hours and hours and hours together doing everything that no one else thought to do or cared to do.  Never once a harsh word.  My teammate, my best friend. He could see it all, everything that I wished for, and he made it come true.  His beautiful set.  His lyrical staging.  All of it with a humility and modesty that he saved especially for me in our slow rides home after everyone else was long parted.  The thanks could go on and on, each wave of gratitude more earnest than the next.

My heart is also so grateful for every one of my friends who came to see the show.  I know I am involved in a lot of shows, and seeing them isn’t always easy, but this is, I believe, one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to me, and to know so many people loved and cared about me, it makes it even more miraculous.  Thank you Leslie, Jeremy, Kyle, Joanna, Rachel, Robyn, Steve, Joe, Christa, Steven, Robyn, Mark,  Jen, Kathryn, Annie, Jason, Sharlene, Dan, Jo, Kacee, KMac, Tom, Jordan, Roger, Leif (!), Jason and Dad for all of your journeys to pilgrimage love for me.  I hardly feel I am worth it, and love you all the more for it.

I want to be a writer with all of my heart and soul.  I want people to know that living inside me is a world of beauty that could never hope to reflect itself in what they could see from the outside.  For the first time in my life, when I saw them up there, singing my words, I felt beautiful.  More beautiful than cosmetics, or clothes, or diets could ever make me.  I felt like the biggest part of me, the part of me that I love the most, was there for all to see, finally.  I’ve never felt so real.  I cannot say it better or with more finesse.  I suppose that when it comes to me, I am still just that much more a fool whose words don’t fit together.

I’m so exhausted, deeply to my bones I am aching with the fatigue that comes when you know a show is at its end.  Tomorrow we travel down to Providence to meet with some men who run a production company who specializes in Kung Fu movies.  They might be interested in making a film out of our humble piece.  If that were to happen, I don’t know what I would do with myself.  It’s more than I ever dared to hope for and am completely unprepared.   This could be it.  Our chance.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me to fulfill my dream.  I am so grateful.

Ever Virgin.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.~ Kurt Vonnegut

I did it.  30 poems for 30 days.  It became so habitual that I just turned on the computer with the express intention of writing my nightly poem before I realized it wasn’t necessary.  I mean, I am still going to try to write on a regular basis, daily, even, if possible, but it was really comforting to be able to know exactly what my responsibilities were with regard to writing before I even got to the blog page.  Some important things to know about the month of May:

1. The opera is coming up next week.  I’m nervous and excited.  I have worked harder on this show than I have ever worked on a show outside of Stonehill before.  I am waking up in 5 hours to get to the wholesale flower market in time to buy lilys and sticks to make the rest of the props.  Then off to a morning rehearsal followed by making the puppet (at the Sagers no less) and then probably running more opera errands before falling into an exhausted sleep to get up for church, set load in, rehearsal and costume fittings.  Forget about an actual weekend!  I really hope everyone comes out to see it, so all my hard work will not be in vain.  www.juventasmusic.com for tickets.

2. I am back on the diet and exercise bandwagon after a brief roadblock of broken foot and opera business.  I am tempted to launch into more details, but honestly, who cares.  A diet is just that- a cutting out of things you love in favor of better health and happiness.  I could use a little more of both, so we’ll see how it goes.  Get thinner- take two!

3. I would like to go on a vacation to Aruba this fall- does anyone have any advice or potential good things to look out for in the world of vacationing to said island?  I need to start saving now, so when the time comes for us to book, I’ll be ready.

That’s all for now, my eyes are closing on me, so it must be sleepiface time!

Ever Virgin.

Exciting Theatrical Endeavors

A little break from all the poetry (I hope you’re having as much fun as I am) to plug two very exciting theatre events that are on the way.

On April 24th at 7:00 p.m., allow yours truly to be your host, as Muzzy VanHorton, wealthy heiress and all around dish, in The f.U.D.G.E. Theatre Company’s first ever Murder Mystery dinner theatre!  It promises to be an awesome time- but tickets are ONLY available ahead of time!  You must get them soon because seats are going fast!  Get them here!

In early May, come out to the Cambridge YMCA Theater to see the premiere of my OPERA!  The Year of the Serpent was composed by Erin Huelskamp with libretto by ME!  We have an amazing, phenomenal, inspiring cast and a the best production team out there!  It’s going to be quite the amazing event.

Look how HOT I look in this head shot.

Showing:

May 7 – 9 at 8 pm and Sunday, May 10 at 3 pm
Purchase Tickets
The Cambridge Family YMCA Theatre
820 Massachusetts Ave, Cambridge, MA

Ever Virgin.

I'm not like the girls that you've known, but I believe I'm worth coming home to~Tori Amos, Sleeps With Butterflies

I know it might sound funny but with so much running around in my head, its hard to pick out any one thought and allow it to spin itself into writing for human consumption.  I had a snow day today, and kept busy in my own, hobbling way, but doing my roommate’s laundry and cleaning the hall closet and the kitchen and generally trying to make my house a wonderful, comfortable and happy place to live.

There was a time, a few months back, that I was terrified that Jacob was going to move out of the house- following a progression that I am used to, I assumed not long after his dating Steven began, he’d want to move in with him- I am following, of course, the example of my former roommate.  I am sure that this fear was only partially a fear of his moving and more a fear of his symbolic moving away from being my friend (another progression I’ve become all too familiar with over the past year or so) but as the time goes on, we do more and more to make the house look nice- and I just don’t want to move anywhere else for a long time.  So I am going to stay here.  I will stay here as long as I can, and hopefully it will be with the roommate I love and adore, but if he should want to leave me, I will stay anyway.  Once I let this sink into my heart, my time has gotten easier.  I think I just have to accept that no matter how much I want to feel safe and secure, sometimes there are things beyond our control, and I have to be okay with that.

So I am continuing to improve the abode while at the same time trying to rest my foot, and trying to prepare for the Opera and for various exciting F.U.D.G.E. events.  I am excited about F.U.D.G.E.’s upcoming cabaret, The Distance You Have Come: The Music of Scott Alan.  I think it is such a great opportunity to feature F.U.D.G.E. and raise money for a worthy cause.  And it will be fun to hang out at the Encore, especially because I am manning the table for this awesome postcard writing initiative to repeal the defense of marriage act!  The awareness video they made is awesome!

Big goals for the month of March are buying a dresser and a mattress with my income tax refund check.  Also I am looking forward to seeing Dirty Dancing this Friday!  Woot!

Ever Virgin

Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty~ Socrates

I’m happy that Jacob is home.  He brought me back the prettiest opal pendant from Hawaii- I absolutely love it!  We’re thinking we might take our vacation to Hawaii instead of London this March- we’re real jet-setters.  He loved his birthday present and tomorrow we’re getting baby kitty from next door- so soon we’ll have three special friends milling around! Lavan was so excited to see Jacob and she’s very content that everyone that belongs in her family is back home.  She is currently passed out in bed beside me.

I’m exhausted already and it’s only Monday. This extra weekend of bare is killing me!  I am glad it’s happening though- I am really proud of all the hard work everyone has put in.  My favorite reviews are from broadwayworld.com, even though we got great reviews in a ton of publications.  We’re talking like a dozen reviews!  Also, the DASH awards were announced and F.U.D.G.E. picked up 6 nominations!   Kacee, Trevor, and SouixSanna got performance nominations, the vocal ensemble of I Love You Because got nominated, Props for Batboy got nominated and Joey got best director nomination for I Love You Because.  I’m very proud.  It has been a season filled to the brim with hard work.

I am looking forward to moving and settling in our new place for a few good reasons, but mostly because I am buying myself a new bed and bedroom set, a real one, for grown ups.  We’re going to have a baby grand piano so my prodigy can work on his music, and a real work table so I can scrapbook again.  I know I have to work slowly to find the things I desire, but sometimes I just want it all to happen right away POOF!!

I can’t seem to get enough sleep lately- perhaps because I was up almost every night Jacob was away- but its been going on for longer than that- my body is looking to recharge itself from fear and stress, and I just cannot seem to put it in a place long enough to keep it secure!

Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.~ Albert Camus

This is a pictorial representation of my 4th of July weekend. I had an absolutely phenomenal time, and even though I have hurt my back again, I look at this weekend as one of the best I’ve had in awhile.

On Friday, Jacob and I had a picnic in the back yard for a few people. Nothing big, but I made my famous

chicken wings

and Jacob made his famous

Jello flag cake.

We all sat around and had drinks, played the Wii, talked and had a very nice, very quiet, very stress-free time. When the evening fell, a few of us decided to head into Boston to see the

fire works.

It was very crowded but the display was beautiful, ever more beautiful than it is when you watch it on the television.

On Saturday Jacob and I had planned to go to the beach, but it was mild and overcast, not a good beach day at all, in fact, so we decided to alter our plans. We stayed in bed late and looked at a

DNA magazine together, before getting up and showering and tending to the dog. Then we got in the car and headed out for lunch at

the Texas Roadhouse. I had a little sirloin steak and my favorite ranch dressing on a salad. It was delicious. After lunch, we decided it would be a good idea to head over to our local neighborhood

Costco, to get a membership and do some shopping. We picked up a lot of good things for the house, and the both of us wanted to get a

memory foam pillow to replace our gross ones. We also headed over to petco to get Lavan a treat and then went out to Sports Authority to get a tennis racket for Jacob. We finished up our night at the coolest restaurant I have been to since I moved to Boston. I mean, anyone who knows me knows that I am a great fan of soup, but this is a totally fun and cool way to eat called Shabu Shabu. You dip things into broth to make a delicious soup as you eat and in the end you have this delicious, flavorful soup to eat with noodles. I loved it!! I want to go back again soon to eat more

shabu shabu!

Today, Jacob and I took Lavan to the park at Stonybrook, where he and Korland played a few rounds of

tennis. Lavan and I watched and also played fetch with a rogue tennis ball in a little fenced in part of the park. She loves to run off leash, and we finished up with a run through the sprinkler system they have set up for people to cool off on hot days. After a delicious late lunch of

hamburgers

stuffed mushrooms and

madeleines, I headed off to Wakefield for a first act stumble through of our summer musical,

bare.

All in all I had a wonderful, colorful, weekend and I would not change a thing, except perhaps throwing out my back again while lifting up the huge tub of kitty litter!!!

Ever Virgin.

When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.~ D.H. Lawrence

Well, we have two thirds of a season, at any rate. For the 2008-2009 season, the F.U.D.G.E. Theatre Company unofficially announced tonight (to a packed crowd of 7 in Joey’s air conditioned bedroom) that we will be performing one straight play, one musical cabaret, and one full stage musical. The straight play will be, Training Wisteria by BU alum, Molly Smith Metzler. This is a fantastic piece that some of the play selection committee had the pleasure of seeing at the 2003 ACTF. The musical cabaret will be the hip, fresh, contemporary, Edges by jazzy duo, Benji Pasek and Justin Paul. Look forward to some adorable, touching numbers like, “I Hmm you” and “Facebook”. The third production for the season, the summer musical, the companies “piece de resistance” has yet to be determined. While many options have been discussed, From The Who’s Tommy to Little Women, but nothing has yet caught that magic moment where we all look up and smile and say, “YES! ‘Tis it!” We’ve gone back to the drawing board for more research and referal. But, you heard it here first, kids. Look forward to an awesome season to come.

Here is a picture of some wisteria that I absolutely fell in love with when I was in France. It was growing on the gate house of the Chenonceau castle.

and here is a random image I found when I searched for “edges” on google images.

ironically the text behind the leaves there is also French. A coincodence? I wonder.

Perhaps fate is trying to tell us that our 2009 summer musical should be Candide?

tee hee. Other suggestions are welcome! I’ll bring them back to the committee!

Ever Virgin.

Midnight Maddness

Lots of late nights, this week. Between the first rehearsal for Bare complete with a delicious display of wines, cheeses, and other snacks, to the ridiculous trip to Economy Hardware at Midnight on Thursday to buy a new couch and chair for the apartment, as well as some other items for the home and puppy with Mr. Jacob Krause, to last night’s celebration of the 21st year of my dear dear dear heart where I stayed out so late I had to take a cab home (my first cab ever, in Boston and on my own!).

Bare has quite a phenomenal cast, seeing and hearing them all in the room together was fantastic. Of course, like anyone else, I have my questions about casting choices, but Mr. DeMita hasn’t ever let me down before, so I trust he knows what he’s doing with some of the questionable casting choices that I see- but for what I hear in voices and see in body types, he put together a good looking, fairly well matched cast. Also they seemed friendly for a bunch of newcomers, notably I enjoyed Anne. She was very sweet, I think she’ll be a fast friend to the company. Tom and I are pretty excellent as ASMs- he is a person to trust and enjoy, and I am glad we’ll become even better acquainted in the next few months.

Have I mentioned what a sweet, thoughtful, man my room mate is? I probably haven’t, but he is. He almost always knows what to say to make me laugh, and I’ve pretty much got his back when it comes to emotional support. He made me laugh at Midnight Madness mostly by being the sparkly rainbow of a boy that he is. Also he looks charmingly adorable pushing a cart around because it makes him shimmy is ass (subconscious? I dunno.) He bought us a Wii on Thursday as well, we’re going to break it open and play when he gets back from Michigan, where he’s visiting his family and enjoying traditional Jewish rites of passage for distant relations

Last night we celebrated the day the earth was blessed with the arrival of Mr. Kyle Hemingway. An intimate group had dinner together, exchanging witty quips (you know, you can make that shit private for a reason.) and dining on an array of Asian/American fusion dishes. I enjoyed a plate of beef with Asian cabbages (yes plural, apparently they have several). The sassy waitress was a special delight for my man. After dinner (and being stuck between the curb and a milk delivery truck for five minutes) we arrived at the Encore piano bar for lots of singing and more revelry. Mr. Hemingway performed some of his staple numbers to the delight of the crowd (who were mostly good friends) and Mr. Hayes and myself prepared a delightful duet where we proclaimed our love for the man of hour through the eyes of two deranged serial killers. Jeremy was so nervous his hands were shaking, but I think he did exceptionally well for all the practice we had (read: none.) We all had a few drinks, socialized and enjoyed the non-dramatic atmosphere for several hours, so many, in fact, that the T totally stopped running and I had to take a taxi home- it’s only a 15 dollar taxi ride and it was sort of relaxing, I would do it again. It was a nice night, I think.

Today Kyle and I spent the better part of the afternoon working on the Brit Brit musical, we made some excellent progress. It is going to be one enjoyable piece of theatre when all is said and done! We make a good team- God knows why, but we just work in perfect time. We even have just about the same amount of stamina. Yeah, I said it. I hope we can get this great American musical up and going by the end of the summer. A few more sessions like today and we’ll be on it!

(I have to take this time out of my writing just to note that there is a puppy curled up between my legs and a kitty laying in the small of my back and the two of them are batting at each other in a half-assed way- what the hell am I- the barricades at dawn?)

Ever Virgin.